Freedom

I love this so much:

"There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally."  [Don Miguel Ruiz]

This has always been a struggle for me because I find it natural to absorb how people treat me and how it makes me feel (good or bad) and it can be both so damaging and fulfilling.  I don't believe either is very healthy - ideally I'd like to be able to filter people's unpleasantness and separate it from myself.  Rationally, this makes sense to me, but emotionally it is a different story.  I find myself getting (and staying) so upset over the way I am sometimes treated because in my mind I cannot reconcile the person's behavior towards me.  It is a vicious cycle - why do I waste my time worrying?  I am my own being, independent of how others are feeling or acting, and I can go on with my day without being altered by comments.  Easier said than done and an article awhile ago on Tiny Buddha really hit home for me and validated my concerns.

The article, When We Hurt People Because We're Hurting, touched my heart with these words:  

"...Most of us have felt pain burning like a hot coal in our hands, and felt desperate to unload it, somehow, somewhere... None of us deserve misdirected rage from a family member, coworker, or stranger... We all have a responsibility to learn healthy ways to cope..."

 Most of the time I am emotionally stable (it didn't happen overnight) but I realize my self worth and value in a way that helps me deal with the everyday - sometimes things can wear on us and it is then that I find myself slipping away a little from the place I know I belong.  I appreciated this article so much in a time when I needed to hear those words.  Thank you, Tiny Buddha!

Friends, do you ever feel this way?  How do you stop internalizing things you know you shouldn't? 

Photos taken by me, November 2011, in Ranakpur, India.

Trying to Remember

Lately I've been struggling with myself.  I can't seem to remember to stop, take a deep breath, and tell myself to calm down.  All around me emotions are running wild, there is a seemingly never-ending to-do list, and there is a cloud of negativity threatening to rain on me.  It has been hard to combat these feelings myself.  I am lucky to have a support system - but ultimately I need to resolve these feelings internally.


Mostly I am floating high in the air hanging on to my balloon filled with excitement, love, and giddiness!  But there are certain days when my hand slips and I have to pick myself up again after being disappointed yet again.  Sadly, I don't think the disappointment will end here.  How do I adopt resiliency?   

I need a weekend retreat where I can be silent and still and return to the place in my mind that is comforting, honest, and true.  I know who matters to me, and I know who I matter to.  There's nothing like a wedding to clear up this issue!  I didn't want this to be a struggle - does it have to be?  Am I overanalyzing again?  Or am I trivializing the matter? 

How do you pick yourself up?